What Im trying to say

So i havent written in my blog for a long time - ive had blog block.
Actually ive had no time. For anything
I'm going home this weekend and I think thats a good idea. I need a little home time. I wont want it for long, but I need it.
I need to get back to feeling like me. Not this person i have become in the past couple of weeks. Ya, i know, i am a generally angry person but ive never been the way i am right now.
Just frustrated, all the time.
Most of the time i just want to scream at everyone. I found myself becoming this person who is not happy because i cant help but think of everything that makes me mad.

So im thinking...
There are some things that im not going to do anymore, and its not because I don't care anymore but its because I need to give myself some sanity.

I'm not going to feel sorry anymore unless is something that is genuinely unfortunate. I will refuse to feel sorry and HELP those people who are not willing to help themselves.
I'm not going to not tell you when I need you to do something. When it comes down to it, everyone is busy and everyone needs to help out, asking for help is not a bad thing. It does not have to be deceiving and temperamental, its just help.
I'm not going to get the closure i want. Because, its over. I don't need to know why everything happens, because thats not how life works. There are going to be more people like you who don't always give me a the straight answer that i want. I can't dwell on those people, I have noticed that i have better things to do.
I am not going to expect the worst of people all the time. I want to give you the chance to prove to me that you don't always put yourself before the people you care about.
I am not going to pretend that everything you say and do is okay. I will tell you when the things you say are hurtful, because sometimes they are. We all say things we don't mean.
I'm going to spend more time with me, less time being angry. I'm going to try to gather my thoughts before i decide i'm going to be in a bad mood because that is not fair to the people around me who have done nothing wrong. If it is worth being upset however, i will be. But i wont just be miserable and not know why.

Im going to try to do these things. I may not be perfect, and i may need help. But i am going to try, not for anyone else, but for me.