She can't help it, the girl can't help it

I understand what it means to love.
I love people everyday. All kinds of people.
People say a lot of things about love. One that i've heard a lot lately is that "love makes you do stupid things". I agree with this. I mean, ive been there (there being stupid). But im not so sure that i believe it to the extent that they are words to live by. How can you let "love" rule your world? Let you tell you what to do, and keep you from saying the things you want, or even ending what you thought may have been love? And why do people let love be all they have, to the point that they wouldn't be able to go on without that other person. Yes, i believe in love but i do not believe in not having self love. If i lost someone i loved - and i mean legitimately lost- i may think that i couldn't go on without that person, but its not true because you do go on, you have too. It would hurt for a while, maybe even forever but you have to go on. So why is it that people think that when they lose love - and not legitimately lose it- that they don't have anything else to live for. People lose love and they move on, so why is it that when love leaves you, you suddenly become nonexistent and unimportant?

To top it off - people shouldn't have to be scared to leave love if its what they want. Its not fair that because you don't feel the love that you once felt that you have to stick it out to save someone else.
Maybe im way off. Maybe what i thought was love really wasn't at all and i don't understand what other people are going through and i am completely insensitive and incorrect about these situations.
But i don't think so. I'm usually never wrong.

I believe in miracles

So i guess i woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. But not the side of the bed you're thinking of.... the...good side. Which hasent really happened for me in a while. But regardless i was feeling good. About everything, my first exam that i was about to write, my upcoming exams, and most of all the number one thing on my mind was... Christmas. Which yes, is also very unusal for me, but i proceeded to download all of the required Pop Diva christmas albums and have had them on all day.
So why the new leaf? Well, last Christmas in my little world was not what i had expected it to be. A part of my life that i wish could be erased, kept me from experiencing a good Christmas. The stress of school (my first exams i had ever written in university), the balance of making new friends in university and keeping the ones i had left behind, not being close to my family, and relationships that ended up being... not so relationshipy.
I dont think that its a bad thing that i want to make this christmas/new years a better one then i have had in many years. If it mean i have to be happy for a while, i will make that sacrifice. As much as i still acknowledge of the crap things that go on in my life, this is a pretty good excuse for keeping things chipper, especially around exams, and im going to keep it up ( or at least try ) because it feels goood.
Also, i am awaiting my Christmuka miracle and dammit im going to get it this year :)

Seriously

Have you ever wondered that maybe, somewhere in your future, weather its near future or not, that theres something else for you. That the way you think your life is going to go - may not work out the way you are planning. Or are you one of those people who already see their future - know whats going to happen - because for you, there are no other options.

okay danielle where is this rant coming from? Well ive been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy lately (shut up its a good show) and i cant help but notice that in that show the most unexpected things happen to the most decent of people. People who have their lives already planned, people who know what they want and where they are going. Its rare that you see bad things happen to people who deserve it. Why is that? Maybe because no one really deserves bad news like the people on that show get.

on another note
exams are coming up and i am stressssing out. I dont want it to be a repeat of midterms when i studied my ass off and got nowhere. Im hoping that all my studying this time will pay off a little bit more. I just need to get through this year. I need to.

I guess there is no point to this blog, i just havent written in a while.
Good Luck on Exams.